Of Ivory Soap and Hurricane Sandy

So I am thinking about how I almost lost it over Ivory soap yesterday.  Actually, the smell of Ivory soap.  You know how they say smells can be very strongly linked to memory?  I'm guessing many of us have experienced that sensation of getting a whiff of something and being transported to a memory of a certain time and place.  Well for me Ivory soap=NICU.  I'm not 100% sure why, I think because it is supposed to be more gentle, but Ivory soap is always what you are given in the NICU to wash things, mostly pumping gear.  And so me and Ivory soap spent many a time together washing up after pumping yet again.  And then I had to get some when we got home because that is just the way is was and I still keep a bottle around.  But when I use it and smell that particular scent, I am standing in Noah's pod or in the NICU pumping room.  I can still see every single detail of those places in my mind.  Sometimes it doesn't phase me at all, but sometimes I tear up and almost start crying into my dish water.
What people went through and the damage caused by Hurricane Sandy is just crazy.  The thing that got me the most was hearing about the NYU NICU having to be evacuated.  NICU nurses carrying babies in their arms down 9 flights of stairs in the dark, with other nurses carrying IV pumps and lines and wires, and other nurses bagging the babies (forcing air into and out of their lungs--basically breathing for them).  Noah was bagged more times than I like to think about, but the one time I actually saw was when he had to leave the NICU and go to a different part of the hospital for a test.  I remember our nurse explaining what would happen, that an RT would be with him the whole time "breathing for him" and then awkwardly thanking her as they left for saving our baby's life...again.  And so hearing about the Hurricane Sandy situation of course makes me shudder.  But it also give me a sense of... pride I guess?  In that I know first hand what those amazing nurses are capable of and am part of this "NICU community", I guess, of parents and staff who have been touched by NICU experiences.
I am so thankful that looking at my almost 3 year old son, you would never know that he had to be bagged and poked and kept at the hospital for three months.  And I am so thankful for my precious daughter and that I got to experience her birth at full term and kind of redeem my thoughts about the whole giving birth thing.  That I got to bring her home right away and be a "normal" mom.   But in some ways, I will always be a NICU mom.  Ivory soap and Hurricane Sandy remind me of that.

Family of 4 Update

I can't believe it's already been over a month since we brought Lydia home and became a family of 4!  Overall we are doing great.  Lydia is good at all the things she is supposed to be, eating, growing and making dirty diapers.  I am thankful she has been a very good nurser right from the start, and she is putting on the weight to prove it!  She is not quite as skilled in the sleeping department, but it's coming. Ordinary baby stuff, right?  We'll take it. :)

Obviously things are very different this time around.  And obviously most of those things are very good!  But there are a couple things that are actually harder.  For one, Noah was like a three month old in some ways when he came home, meaning he was sleeping flat in his crib and could take a bottle.  Oh, and sleeping at night.  It took Lydia a few days to get that whole night and day thing figured out.  She seems to have a little reflux and doesn't like being flat.  And there has just been a bigger adjustment period overall.  When Noah came home, I already knew him super well, his habits and likes/dislikes and little quirks.  And I learned them and how to handle them with the most qualified staff possible by my side.  We have had to do that "getting to know" Lydia at home by ourselves, and if feels very different.  But I'd say we are doing a pretty good job. :)  (Oh, and the whole sleep deprivation thing.  Getting almost no sleep plus recovering from a c-section is not the best combination.  I would gladly have taken a few night nurses. :)

Recovery has gone very well except for one thing--it turns out I am very allergic to steri-strips (little strips of medical tape that are put all along the incision).  We're talking blistered and swollen and so painful and itchy I thought I might lose my mind.  But the incision itself has healed up just fine.  It was very hard to not be able to take care of Noah and things around the house.  But Corey got to take a couple weeks off work and was awesome.  And my mom came over a lot.  Noah was very fond of this part of having a new baby!  And so was I; even though I am a mom, I still like having MY mom around. :) Thanks, Mom!

Noah has done very well so far.  Yes, there have been a few times where he has asked if she can go back to the hospital, but he usually is pretty positive. :)  He still calls her "GirlBaby" most of the time. His cutest brother moment so far is when he laid down next to her and said, "GirlBaby and me are friends!  And God loves GirlBaby and God loves me!"  I know he is kind of bored with this little person that only sleeps and eats and gets changed.  He will often ask "Can she walk/talk/etc yet?"  The other day he told her, "Lydia, this is how you hold a toy.  You put it in your hand and hold it!"  I am excited for when they can actually play together. :)  But for now I will enjoy all the cuteness and baby snuggles.

 
Here are some similarities I have already seen between them:
-Breech, small for their age, and very skilled at hiding from monitoring equipment
-Super long eyelashes
-Does NOT like to be swaddled (Yes, yes, I know; "all babies love to be swaddled."  Have you ever seen a baby fight for 20 minutes to get their arms out of a swaddle and then fall asleep?  We have.  Twice.)
-Likes her paci and has even found her thumb a few times already
-Has already started grabbing my hair
-Overall content, happy, and alert

And what kind of person would I be if I didn't put a few more pictures... ;)


























     


     So, so blessed.
     We love you, Lydia!!

Welcome to the world, GirlBaby!

 Lydia Ruth

6 lb 15 oz

19 inches

Everyone is doing well!  We love her!

One more update!

One last update before GirlBaby makes her appearance TOMORROW at 10:30!! 
I lost count, but I know I had at least a dozen ultrasounds, plus more doctor visits, so I am ready to be done with that part!  
She decided to catch up in growing a couple of weeks ago, measuring 5 1/2 pounds, so she should be right around 6 1/2 tomorrow, at 39 glorious weeks!  When my doctor looked at that ultrasound he said, "If this was the only ultrasound I ever saw I would assume it was from a perfectly healthy and routine pregnancy."  What a nice change from his first description of "rare and special." :)  We are so, so thankful.

To be honest the whole concept of a c-section doesn't really bother me at all.  Some women act like it is the end of the world and somehow makes you less of a mom, but when you have been through what we have, anything other than the end of the story being a mom and baby is pretty much just details.  I don't know if my doctor would have let me try for a VBAC anyway, but GirlBaby made it perfectly clear that she was not moving from as breech as she could possibly get, so that made that decision easy.  I am so ready to not have someone literally sitting on my bladder!
That being said, I am actually a little more anxious for this one considering I have had more than 10 minutes to think about it and won't be completely sedated. But I know it will be worth it!  Corey and I were talking about how different it is going to be to actually be among the first people to see and touch our baby.  Yup, pretty excited about that.
Noah is still excited and hopefully will be tomorrow too!  We had a "Big Brother Party" for him tonight and had lots of fun.  I know there will definitely be some adjusting, but I think he is going to be an awesome brother!

Thank you so much for all your love and prayers!!
 (I'm sure just a few pictures will be taken tomorrow :) and we will try to post some soon.)

Big Boy Update

Along with my baby belly, there is also a toddler around here who keeps growing and changing!
Besides his soon to be official "big brother" status, here are a couple of other things that have been happening with our big boy:

He is now in his big boy bed!

I will admit, this was not by my choice.  Call me crazy, but my plan was to keep him in a crib as long as he would actually stay in a crib.  So yes, you guessed it, he officially mastered the art of climbing out of the crib and left us no choice.  The first few nights were rough and I would find him sleeping in his rocking chair and he kept asking for his crib back, but I think we're pretty much adjusted now.  He gets very excited to show people his bed and told me, "I sure do like my big boy bed!"

He got his first big boy bike!

If you know my husband you know that this was just as exciting for him as Noah, and that this is a "real bike" from a bike shop.  (because apparently the bikes at Walmart, Target, etc are not "real bikes" :)  Noah loved the bike shop just about as much as his Daddy!  And he has been wanting his own bike and to ride like Daddy for a long time.  He doesn't quite have the hang of it yet, but he loves having his very own bike.

He has developed quite a taste for the classics, especially Richard Scarry! 

He will literally sit with someone for hours with a big Richard Scarry book.  And then we discovered that there are some videos of them on YouTube...  needless to say Huckle, Lowly, Bananas Gorilla, Sergeant Murphy and company have knocked Mickey Mouse and friends out of favorite status for him. :)   He has also recently decided that "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" is hilarious and is a pretty big Dr. Suess fan.

He has definitely entered the infamous "why?" stage!  I can see how it gets old, but it isn't like he is saying it as back talk, he is asking legitimate questions.  Why did you put that there?  Why did that person do that? etc. etc. etc.  Oh, and also "what does it mean?"  He has asked me a couple times in the past few days, "What does God mean?"   You know, simple little questions like that.  :)  Before he picked those questions up he would bring me something or hear about something and say, "teach me about that, Mama."  He has always been very inquisitive and aware of what is going on around him, even as an infant.  I'll take it. :)  He also wants to know what everybody's name is, and if I say that I don't know he asks, "do they have a name tag?"  Inquisitive and logical.  And whenever he sees or we talk about an animal he asks, "what is its favorite food to eat?"  Not quite sure where he picked up that one.  I know some people think I am crazy, but I honestly enjoy conversing with my two year old!

The other day he told me what he wants to do when he grows up: "be a righteous man" (I guess he has been listening all those times I pray Genesis 6:9 over him!) and "drive a big up-truck [dump truck]." :)  And then he said once he knows how to drive it he will "take Daddy's up-truck for a nice drive in the country."

I just love this big boy.

Baby Update!

The basic update is: I'm still pregnant!! 

33 weeks and feeling big!

At 30 weeks she slipped even lower on the charts for weight, so I now go in for weekly ultrasounds.  The phrase, "if... then we will deliver" was used at that point and honestly I kind of started planning for the NICU.  But even though she is still tiny, everything for both of us has continued to check out just fine each week.  They are particularly keeping an eye on blood flow through the umbilical cord and the fluid around her, but both have been fine!  At 31 weeks my doctor said, "well, I am happy with how things look and I think we will get you to very little time spent in the nursery, but you are just not going to have a big baby."  I'll take little and healthy any day!  At 32 weeks she was measuring at 3 1/2 pounds, which is technically in the 5th percentile, but hey, it's pretty big to us! 
I actually have something to show for all those ultrasounds, as she finally cooperated long enough to get a 3D shot of her face:

Here is big brother Noah at 32 weeks also:

Minus the nasal canula, I'm definitely thinking they look like siblings, don't you? :)
Noah continues to already be an awesome big brother and is ready to meet this baby already!  He continues to ask to hold her, and once tried to use a key to open my belly.  His latest thing is to say that she needs a "smaller" one of everything including furniture, a bike, and a lawnmower.  And he made sure to say she would need a very small helmet for her bike too.  Already looking out for his little sis! :)
Today we even started talking about delivery.  If we make it one more week, we will be able to deliver in our hometown, and there really isn't any reason to think I won't make it to full term.  Delivering here and actually bringing a baby home with us from the hospital--crazy!  She is still breech and the chances of her flipping are not very high, so we are looking at a c-section at 38 weeks, just a little over a month away.  Ah!!  Now there is a giant list of things that I want to get done running through my head.  But it's kind of fun to actually make it to the planning to bring her home part. :) 

Dear Noah,

Sometimes (really many times) I am amazed at the person you are already becoming.  I know you are only 2 years old, but the way you approach life, the way you treat others, and the way you are already starting to connect with God is just that, amazing, and I am overwhelmed with joy and thankfulness for every moment that I get to spend with you.
You already challenge my thinking with the questions you ask, astound me with the things you remember and put together, and warm my heart with your reminders of the "happy news" and with your sweet voice singing praises to God.
From the moment you were born you have approached everything with a little extra determination.  From the moment you figured out the power of a hug, a smile, and a "thank you," you have given them freely.  From the moment you figured out that money can be used to affect others, you have generously given it.  From the moment you realized that you could "help," you have been by my side to do just that.
As much as I love watching your body grow and your sweet face changing from a chubby baby to a handsome boy, and watching your mind grow as you learn more and more about the world and yourself each day, I think I love this the most--watching your heart grow, your character develop, God already at work in your precious life.  I pray for these things with all my strength, and getting to be a part of it is the most important, inspiring, and humbling thing I have ever done.  I love you, my son.
Love,
Mama